Episode 1: The Importance of You in Your Relationships
In this intro episode, we’re talking about whether the old cliché that “you’ve got to love yourself before you can love other people” is actually true. Spoiler alert: it is, kind of.
It’s not just about having high self-esteem though. It’s got more to do with where you pin your sense of worth, how willing you are to take care of yourself, or taking time to know yourself and do things that give you purpose and excitement. Because when you really know who you are and can show up in relationships as your full self (strengths AND weaknesses), then your relationships will flourish.
A Sneak Peek of What You’ll Find in This Episode:
What You Might Think About Loving Yourself First:
- Selfish: This might feel like putting yourself above your family or others you love and that doesn’t feel good to you. You might worry that you’re doing to become self-centered and turn your back on everything that really matters if you prioritize self-love.
- Failure: It might feel like one more thing on your already crammed to-do list that you’re not all that great at. Like “great, I don’t love myself all that much, so I guess I can’t love anyone else.”
- Vague or cliché: Sure, I supposed to love myself by what does that even really mean. It sounds like junk science or rote advice.
- Fake Science: Sometimes we see people do rude and abrasive things in the name of so-called authenticity or self-love and an insistence that they are just loving themselves.
- Self-Esteem: You might assume it just means having high self-esteem. But maybe you know some arrogant people who don’t have all that great of relationships, because they are so self-centered, so this doesn’t seem quite right either.
A Few Ways That You Impact Your Relationships:
- Being too busy or not having hobbies of your own can disconnect you from others but often we deprioritize our own interests or are too busy to fit them in. Trying new things or spending time on things that bring you excitement is good for your relationships.
- Feeling stressed makes you more likely to snap at the people you love.
- Lacking purpose leaves you disconnected. Feeling a sense of purpose makes you excited to talk to others and connect with them.
- Physical health makes you more or less easy to relate with.
- Knowing who you are and what you want is crucial to real connection—who is the other person connecting with if you don’t know who you are?
- Feeling unsure of yourself or lost can get brutal when your kids are teens, because they will say things to you that hurt. You need to be confident in yourself in order to keep that connection going.
- Roommate syndrome happens when you’re just going through the motions of life and the relationship can just feel like one more thing.
Additional Resources to Help Develop Yourself in Your Relationships:
- You might like this article about How to Stop Feeling Like You’re Losing Yourself in Motherhood
- Or this on What It Means to Be a Woman in 2025
Stay in Touch!
Get weekly emails with tips & resources to help you feel more like yourself again & more connected to your people: