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How to Improve Your Self-Esteem

How to Improve Your Self-Esteem

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Body Image & Sexuality

Body Image & Sexuality

How to Stop Seeking Validation

How to Stop Seeking Validation

How to Balance Life & Competing Priorities

How to Balance Life & Competing Priorities

Stop Silencing Your Own Desires…in the Bedroom

Stop Silencing Your Own Desires…in the Bedroom

How to Develop a Strong Sense of Self

How to Develop a Strong Sense of Self

Taking Ownership of Yourself (and Only Yourself)

Taking Ownership of Yourself (and Only Yourself)

Seeking Validation from Others

Seeking Validation from Others

“Doing” Gender: What it Means to be a Woman or a Man

“Doing” Gender: What it Means to be a Woman or a Man

Stop “Shoulding” on Yourself

Stop “Shoulding” on Yourself

Why Comparison is More Than Just the Thief of Joy

Why Comparison is More Than Just the Thief of Joy

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When I go through a salad bar, I *always* come out When I go through a salad bar, I *always* come out with my plate overflowing. And that summarizes my life pretty well. There is SO much I want out of life, SO many things I want (and have) to do. It can all be a lot and feel like it’s overflowing a lot of the time. Can you relate? But reality is that even when I want to, I can’t do it all. And neither can you. There’s no way to accomplish every single “good” the world has to offer. You can try…and you will make yourself crazy. And you’ll probably make everyone around you crazy.  A better way to handle all that life sends your way is to create what Dr. Julie Valentine calls a “selective neglect list.” Really. Sit down and make it. What are the things that you are purposefully going to choose to *not* worry about. What are things you can set aside in favor of things that matter more?  For me, one of those things is choosing not to send Christmas cards. They just don’t matter that much to me, and they take too much time and energy. So, I don’t do them.  I also don’t change the sheets on our beds as often as I “should.”  Or get my hair cut as often as many people do.  These are things I just don’t care to spend my time on. They are probably different from yours and that’s GREAT! We each get to choose the things that matter to us and the things that just don’t rate.  The important thing is to spend your time where it matters most to you, where you personally can have the biggest impact, and in ways that bring you joy.  So, I want to know. What’s going on your selective neglect list?
Why are we our own worst critics? Next time you’ Why are we our own worst critics? Next time you’ve got something mean to say to yourself, think about whether you’d say it to someone else. It’s ok to see areas of needed growth and to challenge yourself on those. But you can do that while giving yourself grace and love.
Having a strong sense of self means knowing who yo Having a strong sense of self means knowing who you are, liking who you are, and not needing other people to make you feel good about yourself. Someone with a strong sense of self can form and maintain great relationships and lives with authenticity. The opposite is having a weak sense of self. Reality is that we all have ways we do this, so don’t feel bad if you see ways you’ve got a weak sense of self. Just work on strengthening it. What other examples of strong vs. weak in Parks and Rec characters can you think of?
Do you agree? What are your thoughts on this? Of Do you agree? What are your thoughts on this? Often we (especially women) are taught that it’s our job to constantly sacrifice ourselves for the people we love. And while caring for others is a truly beautiful thing, I believe you’ve got to do it from a place of authenticity and self-care. When you don’t, you’re bringing less to the relationship and you’re building resentment that does not enhance the connection. Instead, dig down and find who YOU are and bring HER to the relationship. ♥️
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