Episode 4: Quieting the Inner Critic
If you’ve ever driven home after a party or after lunch with a friend and replayed something you said or did that made you feel dumb, you know what we’re talking about with an “inner critic.” And it’s relatable because we all do things we are embarrassed about and things that get that inner critic talking loudly.
But what if you knew that the inner critic was just trying to protect you? What if it was about keeping you safe from the perceived dangers of rejection or failure? The power of the inner critic in making you feel bad can be quieted when you can recognize that it’s just trying to protect you but doing it in the wrong way. Then you can learn to recognize this, reframe it, and replace it with true thoughts.
A Sneak Peek of What You’ll Find in This Episode:
Performing for an Imaginary Audience
From the time we are adolescents, we feel like we are performing for the people around us. We are certain that they are watching us, evaluating us, and judging us and probably going home and telling all their friends how inadequate we are or laughing at us.
Our brains default to “everybody’s watching me.”
Psychologists actually have a name for this—it’s called the imaginary audience. It’s this feeling that everyone’s aware of you and everything you’re doing and even though it’s a normal and expected experience in teen years, for many of us, it doesn’t go away even as adults. At least not as much as we’d like it to.
The Inner Critic Tries to Protect You
That voice in your head—the one replaying every little thing you said or did—it’s not trying to ruin your life. It’s actually trying to protect you. It’s your brain’s way of avoiding rejection or embarrassment.
There’s a fundamental truth for all of us, that we want to be liked and accepted and loved by other people.
So, it’s only natural then that we monitor ourselves to see how we are doing, if we think we are measuring up to what we expect other people to want us to do or say, so that we can be sure that we are likable. So, can you see how your brain is really trying to protect you when it evaluates your performance
Additional Resources to Help You Quiet the Inner Critic:
- Learning to spot that inner critic and quiet it is foundational to everything we do in the Reclaim program
- Learning how to Strengthen Your Sense of Self can be a key aspect in quieting that inner critic
- Take this free quiz to learn how self-silencing might be at the root of that inner critic
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