Episode 8: Doing Less without the Guilt

If you had a day entirely to yourself with absolutely no expectations of productivity on you — no chores to do, no one else’s needs to see to, now worries that you weren’t getting enough done, just you and your time and whatever you wanted to do — what would you do?

And how do you feel when you think about it? Like it would be a dream come true? Or does it make you anxious (because for so many of us, rest feels like a luxury we have to earn — not something we’re simply allowed to have)?

We already talked in episode 5 about doing it all and still not feeling like it’s enough. We talked about why we sometimes feel that way—how easy it is to tie our sense of self-worth to getting things done so that feeling productive feels like safety and rest feels like risk.

Today we’re doing to build on the why behind not feeling like enough and putting it into permission to act. Permission to do less and lose the guilt and even find joy in doing just that.

A Sneak Peek of What You’ll Find in This Episode:

Do I Need Permission?

So often we are waiting until we feel like we have permission to rest or do less. Here are some examples:

I once had a doctor tell me that I had to take it easy, so I got to stay in bed and read and eat a lunch a friend brought me (hear the story in the episode). I was given the green light to rest and it felt amazing! But why did I need that from someone else?
On my birthday I don’t feel at all guilty if I just do things I love—why do I wait until then for all the fun?
Maybe you can’t just enjoy a slow morning — you need a migraine, a holiday, or a fully booked calendar the next day to justify it
You tell yourself you’ll watch a show or read once the house is spotless — which, of course, never fully happens

Losing Pieces of Who We Are

So many of us are living our lives (myself included), waiting for someone else to give us permission to do things that feel enjoyable to us or to stop doing all the things we think we need to do in order to be valuable and productive.

In this way, we lose a piece of ownership of ourselves. We no longer own the ability to make choices for ourselves with how we use our time, instead we let something outside of us dictate that for us, whether that’s the doctor, someone else saying “go ahead and take some time off,” or the date on the calendar.

But putting the locus of control outside of ourselves and in the hands of someone else (even if that someone else is just the voice in our head that tells us to do more), we lose ourselves just a little bit.

Additional Resources to Help You Do Less without the Guilt:

When you’ve lost little pieces of yourself and need help feeling like you can safely do less without feeling selfish, the Reclaim program is a great place to start
If you’re a mom who has a hard time prioritizing yourself sometimes, this article about making time for yourself as a mom might be just the thing

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