Episode 11: Finding Clarity About Who You Are
When you’re neck deep in taking care of kids, demands at work, or getting everything done (and it never seems to all be done), it’s easy for the pieces of yourself that used to make you you to fade a little.
Or maybe something in your life has changed—the kids are growing up and need you less often, your job changed, a relationship dissolved, something happened that’s left you a little unsure of who you are now that your roles and responsibilities are different.
If your self-concept has become a little blurry and you’re not all that sure who you are anymore outside of the roles you play or the things you get done, gaining clarity can happen one small step at a time and those small steps can have powerful impacts on your and your relationships.
A Sneak Peek of What You’ll Find in This Episode:
Self-Concept Clarity
Self-concept clarity means knowing who you are, what you want, what you value, what you prefer, and being able to stay connected to that in your relationships.
It means you have an answer to the question “who am I?” and that the answer doesn’t change based on the setting or the people you are around and doesn’t cause you internal conflict.
Often, self-concept clarity doesn’t show up as big life clarity. It shows up in small, everyday moments like these:
- Opening a menu and being able to figure out what you want without a ton of waffling or worrying that you’ll regret your choice
- Knowing what you want to do for your birthday
- Being able to answer, “What do you want to do this weekend?” without immediately saying “I don’t know”
Why Self-Concept Clarity Matters
Having a clearly defined sense of self is an important predictor of many things that matter to the connection we feel with ourselves and with other people.
A clear self-concept means you’re less likely to experience mental health challenges like anxiety and depression, able to act more authentically, and to set reasonable goals for yourself.
Self-concept clarity is also a predictor of self-disclosure in romantic relationships (meaning being able to share your real and personal thoughts with your partner). That self-concept clarity and self-disclosure is then unsurprisingly likely to increase the relationship intimacy, satisfaction, and long-term commitment you experience in that relationship. It’s also likely to increase the sexual connection your experience in your sexual relationship.
Additional Resources to Help You in Finding Out Who You Are:
- Join the free 5-day challenge to help you gain more clarity about what makes you you
- Read about How to Stop Losing Yourself in Motherhood
- Read more poetry from Carol Lynn Pearson (referenced in the episode)
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