Episode 12: The Relationship Skill No One Taught You (That You Really Need)
Most women crave deep, meaningful connection, so we pour ourselves into the people we love—caring, serving, sacrificing, and trying to meet everyone’s needs. And yet, so many of us end up feeling exhausted, disconnected, lonely, or unsure why all that effort doesn’t always seem to create the closeness we want. When that happens, we usually assume we need to give more, communicate better, or finally get everything figured out.
But there’s one crucial piece we’re missing: you have to belong to yourself in order to truly connect with others. This isn’t about self-care—it’s about autonomy. Knowing who you are, trusting yourself, and allowing yourself to be a whole person who loves others and owns herself.
A Sneak Peek of What You’ll Find in This Episode:
What Is Autonomy?
The word autonomy sometimes gets misconstrued as independence from other people or even something like isolation or separateness from others.
Those definitions don’t capture the meaning behind autonomy at all. Instead, autonomy means that we have a sense of ownership of who we are.
This means that we feel like we can make choices for ourselves, have opportunities to develop who we are, have a sense of agency and control of our own lives. Rather than allowing other people to dictate who I am and how I feel about myself, I allow myself to choose that.
Why Autonomy Matters:
Research shows that the level of autonomy you feel is directly associated with the level of connection you feel in your relationships.
So if you’re giving up yourself, even if you’re doing it in hopes of building your relationships, can actually leave you feeling disconnected.
Taking back ownership of yourself comes in small ways—stating a preference, doing a hobby, keeping yourself on the to-do list—and it can make a major difference in your relationships.
Additional Resources to Help You Reclaim Your Autonomy:
- Join the Reclaim program to help you reconnect with yourself and your people
- Read more about how autonomy functions in relationships
- Take a free quiz to help you know where autonomy might be leaking out of your life
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