Episode 13: How Reclaiming Myself Changed My Relationships
This episode is a little different than the ones I usually share. I’m not teaching a new idea or giving you something new to think about. I’m not sharing any research directly in this one. Instead, I’m telling you a story—my story—and why it matters so much to the work we’ve been doing on this podcast.
I’m sharing this because for a long time I had a life that looked good on the outside, but inside I felt overwhelmed, disconnected, and unsure why everything felt harder than it should. If that sounds familiar to you, I hope this episode helps you feel a little less alone—and maybe helps you see what’s possible, too.
A Sneak Peek of What You’ll Find in This Episode:
l started noticing a few things in my life:
- I had a terrible friendship that was draining me of who I was. I didn’t recognize at the time how much it was limiting me and how problematic it was
- Motherhood was good…but also so much work. I often felt both overwhelmed by the things on my list that never seemed to be done but also unfulfilled by those same things and it was making me snippy and irritated
- I felt some resentment towards my husband because of the heavy mental load I was carrying at home. I felt like our date nights were lackluster. I just felt a little disconnected from him, even though I loved him so much
I realized I was the common factor in all of these relationships. Maybe I needed to do some work on me?
I decided to work on myself:
That made me start to wonder if instead of trying to correct my kids, earn my friend’s approval, or micromanage my husband, I needed to do some work on myself.
I decided to give it a go and started to look for resources to help me work on who I was. As I started to learn, I saw things I’d never noticed before. I saw how often I was doing what I did not because it was what I was deliberately choosing, but because I thought it would make others love me, make me feel like a good mom or wife or friend, or help me avoid conflict.
I started to learn that a lot of it had more to do with maintaining an image of myself that I thought was important—an image of a strong, capable woman who could do all the things and take care of all the people and do it with a smile and look good while she did it. Things really started to change for me and my relationships when I reclaimed more of myself.
Additional Resources to Help You Reclaim Who You Are:
- Join the Reclaim program to reconnect with yourself and with your people
- Try a 5-Day challenge to feel more like yourself in really small ways
- Read about how important autonomy is to your relationships
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