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Episode 14: Body Image Isn’t Just About Bodies

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There is a lot of messaging coming at us from many different sources that tells us as women to shrink ourselves. This can be about the size of our bodies with constant pressure on women to be smaller or to lose weight or it can be about our presence with pressure to be accommodating, agreeable, to avoid conflict, or just in general to take up less space.

In this episode with Dr. Lauren Barnes, we talk about how this messaging to take up less space, both physically and emotionally, affects us and how we can use practical strategies to get more comfortable in our own bodies and in our own space and then how that in turn helps us deepen our relationships with other people.

A Sneak Peek of What You’ll Find in This Episode:

What’s in the Messages We Hear?

Everywhere we go we hear messages telling us that as women we should shrink ourselves, both physically (lose weight, be smaller) or emotionally (don’t disappoint anyone, be accommodating).

Where did this come from and how does it impact us?

Limiting food intake stems back a long time, possibly to rituals of spiritual cleansing that may have allowed someone to feel morally superior if they limited food. This still happens today! (And a lot of people make a lot of money convincing you that you need to change yourself.)

But feeling like you can’t take up space or feeling like you’ve got to be smaller limits your ability to show up in a relationship authentically.

When you self-objectify, you disconnect from yourself.

When you monitor and edit yourself, you are less present.

When you shrink yourself, you become less authentic.

All of these things are going to impact your relationships, giving you less connection and enjoyment with the people you love.

Practical Tips to Improve Body Image

Focus on Function over Feature: Shift your focus from how your body looks to what it does. Over time, these moments reshape how you see yourself. 

Practice Neutral Noticing: When you experience a negative body thought, don’t place judgement on it. Notice the thought and move on.

Diversify Your Environment: Make sure that your life is filled with diverse bodies, whether that’s in your friendships or in your social media feed.

Wear Clothes That Fit Your Current Body: Avoid the discomfort and self-judgment of wearing items that don’t fit well or that you hope to fit into someday. 

Build Tolerance for Healthy Discomfort: Growth often requires stepping slightly outside your comfort zone. That’s ok!

Avoid Diet and Food Talk: Food and body commentary is everywhere. Choose not to participate. Redirect the conversation.

Practice the 10 Principles of Intuitive Eating: Free download from Dr. Barnes here

Engage in Joyful Movement: Move your body in ways that feel good and you enjoy 

Additional Resources to Help You Get Comfortable Taking Up Space:

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