How Well Do You Actually Know Yourself?

If someone handed you a list of questions about one of your favorite people—maybe your kid, your spouse, your mom, a friend, a celebrity you love—you’d probably have a lot to say.

But what if the questions were about you?

Not your kids’ schedules. Not your husband’s preferences. Not what everyone else in your life needs, likes, or expects.

You.

For a lot of us, that list gets a lot harder to answer. Not because there’s nothing there, but because it’s been a long time since anyone asked—including ourselves.

It’s not usually one big moment that causes this. It’s years of small, reasonable choices: putting your interests on hold because it wasn’t the season for them, going along with what everyone else wanted because it was easier, focusing so much of your attention outward that the inward questions stopped getting asked.

And even though it happens to a lot of us and might feel like sort of a natural outcome of taking care of others, knowing yourself matters more than you might think. It’s actually really related to how connected you feel to other people.

Researchers call it self-expansion: the more you grow and learn who you are, the more you actually have to bring into your relationships. That means more spark, more excitement, more connection. A version of you that’s clear and present is a version other people can actually connect with.

So today, I want to hand you that list. Not about anyone else—about you.

Pick a few of these questions and take time to think about them. Answer them out loud, in your head, or write them down if you want. Don’t overthink it, don’t check what anyone else would say. Just notice what’s actually true for you. How well do you know yourself?

What’s one thing you’re loving right now that surprises you?
What’s something you’re currently working on or learning that excites you?
What would your perfect day look like from start to finish?
What’s something you’ve done in the last year that made you feel proud of yourself?
What’s a hobby or activity you’ve never tried but think you’d love?
What’s something about yourself that you’re really proud of?
What’s a talent or skill you wish you had but never learned?
What’s your dream job, even if it’s totally unrealistic?
What’s a habit or routine that makes you feel grounded or happy?
What’s something you’ve learned about yourself in the past year?
What’s a fear you’ve conquered in your life?
What’s a challenge you’re excited to tackle in the future?
What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?
What’s your favorite way to spend time alone?
If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?
If you could instantly become an expert in anything, what would it be and why?
If you could magically fix one thing in the world, what would it be?
Where is one place you’d love to travel to in the next five years and why?
If you could live anywhere for a year, where would it be?
What’s a song that never fails to put you in a great mood?